Cobalt Blue Couch
by Sketcher1994
Summary: He did not need to call up his friends. Nope, not at all. He gave another shove, straining, and sighed as he failed to make it budge an inch. It was stuck. Maybe he should pull it back down the stairs and wait until Laxus and Freed got home… then call them to lend a hand. He laughed quietly to himself, letting his tongue loll out of his mouth. It was just his luck. (Mild M)
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Fairy Tail belongs to Hiro Mashima!**

**Sooooo, yeah. I was trying to read Bixanna earlier and decided to give writing it a go... after all this time. I can't remember when I last wrote for Bixanna, but I love these two together and I hope you enjoy this! **(I _may_ have spent my day writing this... it's over 9,500 words long, so I split it into Part One and Part Two)_._

**This came from the prompt: **"you saw me trying to get my couch up the stairs by myself and were nice enough to help". I reblogged the post on Tumblr a while ago... I believe the original poster of the prompts was _edge-of-bizzarre_, so shout out to them!

**I've only proofread this once (instead of my old, obsessive ten times), so go easy on me. OCD is no joke and I'm getting better. It also means you get this fresh off the press! Enjoy!**

_(P.S. I don't own She-Hulk either!)_

* * *

**Part One**

Ok, now, he could do this. He could totally do this. He did not need to call up his friends. Nope, not at all. He gave another shove, straining, and sighed as he failed to make it budge an inch. It was stuck. It was completely and utterly stuck. Fuck. He dropped back down onto his haunches and stared at his problem. Well, at least it was not falling back down the stairs to land on him. That would fucking hurt. The material may feel like a blanket, but from trying to push the fucking thing up the stairs… It was fucking heavy and that wooden frame would not help.

"Are you ok…?"

Bickslow blinked at the sudden interruption to his downward spiral of thinking. Was he ok? Yeah, he was absolutely fine. Not the best day of his life, but he was not about to get all down about it. Was his situation ok? Hell no. His best friend was away with his other guy friend and his female friend was 'hanging out' with some ginormous, muscular guy who put his best friend to shame. And that was difficult. He did not need to call _any_ of them to help him to get this damn couch up the stairs.

"Excuse me?"

Ah, there was that voice again. Maybe he should pull it back down the stairs and wait until Laxus and Freed got home… _then_ call them to lend a hand. Because this fucker was not going anywhere. He laughed quietly to himself, letting his tongue loll out of his mouth. It was just his damn luck. It was _supposed_ to have arrived yesterday. He had had the whole gang over to help out yesterday. Today, he was on his own. Again.

"Is it stuck?"

He turned around, wondering who the hell kept asking him questions. He blinked and looked down, finding a shortish girl with a white pixie cut. He tilted his head to the side and studied her for a moment. She could not be more than five three. She was slim built, but it looked like there might actually be a chest. It was hidden under that baggy Egyptian blue hoodie that did not quite match her sapphire eyes, but it was definitely there. Those sapphire eyes, however, were beginning to look annoyed. Her smirked, letting his eyes drop lower to find lean, pale legs coming out of a pair of black short shorts clinging beautifully to a spectacular ass. Not too big, but far from small. He licked his lips, ignoring the glare he was getting from her.

"Do you need a hand or not? I'd like to get to my flat at some point today." She glowered, her voice pretty cute.

"I doubt there's much you could do." He snorted, folding his arms over his muscular chest. She was not even as tall as the average woman, so how the hell was a small person like her going to help?

"I could climb over it and lift the end that's snagged on the step?" She mused, raising an eyebrow at him.

He paused, trying to imagine that ass climbing over his couch. That may just be something he wanted to see. He glanced at the cobalt blue couch, trying not to drool as he easily pictured exactly what should already be happening. He grinned at her, not bothering to pull his lolling tongue back into his mouth, as he nodded his agreement. Well, if she wanted to give a random stranger a good show, she could fucking go for it.

She rolled her eyes at him and promptly climbed over the arm of the couch and began the forty-five degree climb to the other arm, only to hop over the other side. He groaned quietly to himself, wondering if he might actually go to hell for watching that. Those shorts had been sinfully tight. He could feel his own trousers getting tight, just remembering what he had just watched. Oh, he was going to hell. To the very _depths_ of it.

"Are you ready?" She smiled sweetly – too sweetly, given where she had just dragged his thoughts from. He nodded, pulling his tongue back in as he reached down to lift his end. "Three, two, one, and…"

They lifted their ends in one easy upward movement, surprisingly in sync given their height difference. The couch currently sat at a more normal angle above the stairs and he whistled in appreciation of her strength. She was not breaking a damn sweat! Fuck! Maybe _she_ could throw _him_ around a bit? He cackled, grinning as they began to make their way up the stairs almost effortlessly. Was she fucking She-Hulk? Then again, when he wasn't trying to pushing it _through_ a concrete step, it was not all that heavy.

"There you go, Bickslow." She nodded as she lowered her end at the top of the stairs and stepped to the side to let him finish pushing it on his own. He blinked, his body frozen, as he watched her open-mouthed. What the fuck? "What?" She frowned, tilting her head to one side slightly.

"How the fuck do you know my name?" He laughed, studying her face more thoroughly. He supposed she did look kind of familiar, but not in that way where they had met before, more like he knew a sibling or a cousin that _looked_ similar.

"Oh, sorry – I completely forgot we haven't actually met!" She giggled cutely, making him grin back at her with his tongue lolling out. "You're friends with Ever – she was showing me photos the other day when she was at my sister's for dinner."

"Your sister's?" He snorted, raising an eyebrow at her. "Ever doesn't have female friends – gets too fucking jealous for that!"

"Em, well, I'd like to think of her as a friend, since, you know, she'll maybe be my sister-in-law some day?" The young girl replied awkwardly, fidgeting with her hands in front of her.

He paled, taking a step back. Only to stumble backwards down the stairs that they had just carried the couch up. He groaned as he rubbed his neck. Nothing felt bro- FUCK! Ow, fucking ow! He opened his eyes to find the damn couch on top of his right leg. For fuck sake. He let his head drop backwards onto the cold concrete and lay there, currently contemplating life. Why him? Why did those delivery guys decide to fuck him over? Why did the damn couch have to get stuck? And why the fuck did it have to be the demon and the beast's little sister that had come to his rescue? Why the fuck was she so damn _attractive_? The short stature, the nice ass, the toned legs… That cute fucking smile. And those huge-ass fucking sapphire eyes. Of course she looked familiar – it was the fucking eyes.

"Are you ok?" Her voice asked sheepishly as the weight was lifted off of his leg.

"I've been better." He laughed softly. Life was never fucking fair – if he did not laugh, he would be permanently fucking crying.

"Why- Why were you trying to do this on your own?" She inquired, clearly unsure if she was being rude.

"It was supposed to come yesterday, so everyone was here yesterday… They all had plans today." He grunted, shifting his leg, without looking, so that she could put the damn couch back down.

"Do you want to go to the hospital? You should probably get checked out?" She pressed gently and he could feel her crouching down near his head.

"Nope. I'm gonna get this fucker up the stairs, into the flat, then I'm gonna curl up with the cats to watch TV." He answered, smiling softly at the nice image he was picturing. Sounded fucking perfect right now.

"Want some company?" She offered and he could see her shoulders giving a little shrug, even with his eyes closed.

"I have five cats, how much more company could someone need?" He snorted, opening his eyes to look back up at her. "But I wouldn't mind some human company – just don't let your siblings kill me, got it?"

"Ah… You know them well, then?" She coughed, looking away bashfully.

"Yeah, and you're Lisanna – the girl who _vanished_ for two whole years. It's still hard to believe you were kidnapped because of a case of mistaken identity… Then again, I guess that would be hard to believe for them that you were a doppelganger… Seriously shit situation." He sighed, realising that maybe his shit was not quite so bad.

"It would be nice, for once, to not be the girl who disappeared." She mumbled, looking away from him with a forlorn look in her beautiful sapphire eyes, before standing back up.

"Yeah, it'd be nice not to be the giant idiot with the five cats for once." He returned, grinning as a smile cracked through that downcast expression. She offered him her hand and he took it, allowing her to help him up. "Sucks about your boyfriend too, finding someone else and all."

"It's fine, really." She laughed, shaking her head. "The moment I saw them together, I knew it was more real than whatever we'd had… It hurt for a while, but I fully support them." She nodded, genuinely looking like she meant it. Who the fuck was that strong?! "What?" She blinked, staring back at him. Shit! He'd been staring? "Maybe we should get you to the hos-"

"Nah, I'm fine." He smirked, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "Just still surprised by how fucking strong you are." He admitted, lapping up her embarrassment as her face flushed at his complement. "Now then, let's get this fucker into my flat before I decide to just leave it here!"

* * *

"Scrambled? Really? You know that's a pain, right? The clean-up afterwards?" He sighed, holding up the frying pan in despair as she sat curled up cutely with all five of his damn cats. "Fine." He groaned, turning his back on that cute pout. This was unfair – she had him wrapped around her damn finger. "Soft bacon and those fancy-ass pork and apple sausages." He finished as he dropped the eggs into the pan, followed swiftly by a dash of milk and his silicone whisk. He glanced at the two plates with their sausages and bacon. How long had it been since she had started coming over, anyway? He was still fucking lucky to be alive with how many near-misses they had had.

"You locked your window last night…" Her voice called over, bringing him out of his reverie. And? Why should he not? It was not as if this was a zero-crime area? "Did you not want me over this morning?"

"You should really learn to use the door." He cackled, shaking his head fondly at her. She kept using the damn fire-escape – it was like watching a cat every time someone knocked on his door or they heard her siblings on their way up to the flat directly above his. Hers. He had never actually been in, but what self-respecting twenty-one-year-old girl would let a twenty-seven-year-old guy into her flat? Then again, how many insisted on climbing through windows to get between the flats? Just to eat meals and watch TV? It was definitely because she loved his damn cats. "One of these days, you're going to fall and then I'm gonna get it trying to explain why you were even out there."

"But your door is always locked?" She frowned, watching him with a hint of drool as he plated up the eggs.

"Then I'll get you a key." He mused, carrying the plates over. He watched her shoo the cats off of her and look up at him hopefully. "Yes, it's what you wanted." He grinned, letting his tongue loll out as she bounced up and down on the couch in excitement.

* * *

"Can you watch the cats?"

"Sure?"

"For two weeks." He added, trying to sound normal.

"Two weeks? And where are you off to for so long all of a sudden?" She frowned, narrowing her eyes at him.

"Laxus has decided all four of us are going on holiday and the rich bastard has already booked it. He's feeling pretty shitty for forgetting I need to sort a cat-sitter though." He replied with a chuckle, smiling off into the distance. "I said I had someone I could ask, so now they wanna know who else I fucking know outside of them."

"Are we going to tell them?" She questioned, her voice quiet. He turned his head to look at her for a moment. Was she worried about someone finding out? It was not as if they were doing anything wrong? It literally could not be more innocent if they tried. "Bix?"

"Lis, I won't tell them – already said it was one of the neighbours that was ecstatic to find out I had cats in the first place." He grinned, ruffling her soft, white hair. "What you worrying about?"

"You _know_ how overprotective they are…" She sighed, curling up into his side and causing the cats to have to rearrange themselves. They did not even seem annoyed, much to his amusement. "I'd hate to think they'd hurt you."

"It's not as if we've given them anything to hurt me over!" He cackled, shaking his head at her. He fed her and she kept him company – if anything, they should be thanking him! "Hell, maybe we should tell them?"

"But-"

"Lisanna has seemed so quiet lately… Elf, do you think she's ok?"

"_Shit!_" He whispered and she forward rolled off the couch, suddenly leaping towards the window with the stealth of a cat. In the blink of an eye, she was gone. She would be on her own couch with a book when her siblings walked in.

"Lisanna! We thought we would com- OH MY GOD!"

What… What was that about? He stared up at the ceiling, wishing he could see into her flat. Her sister had just shouted in shock, that was clear… but why? She had been wearing her own clothes, not his hoodie… right? Nope, his hoodie was on the arm of the couch. And she was wearing that cute cat-queen t-shirt he like anyway… and-

Shit.

There was a quiet knock on the door.

"Hey." He coughed, trying to look bored as the five foot four sister with long white hair stood on his doormat. Holding out one of his cats.

"I believe this is yours." She stated, trying to hold a sweet smile in place as her tense body suggested she was more than a little… furious.

"Lisanna bored already? Thought she'd said she was feeling lonely?" He returned, gently taking his cat from the seething woman.

He held his ginger cat to his chest affectionately as he watched the surprised expression on Mirajane Strauss' face turn to embarrassment. In fact, maybe that was a little bit of guilt too? He supposed that maybe she did feel like she was neglecting her sister, with the hours she worked, but Lis was a big girl – perfectly capable of looking after herself. Then again, she ate with him most mealtimes when she was not working at the pub. Actually, come to think of it, all mealtimes when she was not at the pub.

"Are you coming to the engagement party?" Mira smiled, trying to hide the sadness in her eyes with something positive.

"Don't think Ever would let me live if I didn't." He cackled, nuzzling his little fluffball of a cat. "I'm assuming you are too?"

"I'm in charge of catering, so it would be a little awkward if I didn't." She returned, a mischievous smile in place.

"You're also the groom's sister!" He snorted, leaning casually against the doorframe. "You got a date for it?" He added, letting his eyes drift lazily over her. She was ok. She was beautiful, but with her evil streak? And the fact that she just was not as downright _cute_ as her sister? He could not even bring himself to flirt with her. He froze, cringing as he realised that she was watching him. "Well?" He added, trying to look as lecherous as possible.

"No." She admitted, tilting her head to one side slightly. She still was not as cute. "What's her name?"

"She's a He." He guffawed, shaking his head at her before nuzzling the poor cat again.

"Oh!" She blushed, looking away in obvious mortification. "I didn't realise you swung that way – I honestly do apologise!"

"Swing?" He frowned, only to turn crimson. "I thought you meant the cat!" He exclaimed, holding out his cat to cement his case.

"Oh!" She giggled, shaking her head as they both began to laugh. "Suddenly thought all those girls were a cover up."

"No. No, they were not. Not that guys are unattractive, but there's no-one special in my life at the moment. Well, beyond my cats." He mused, smiling sadly down at her. That was the two of them, eternally alone, right? Her with her evil streak and him with his 'fucked up sense of humour and lack of propriety'. "No-one…"

"I don't believe that for one moment." She challenged sweetly, stroking his cat's head as the others finally appeared around his ankles. "You haven't admired my body once – don't deny it – and only vaguely past a glace over it, thinking it didn't compare to _someone_." She teased, looking up at him fondly. "I hope to see her at the engagement party."

"Honesty, there-"

"I mean it – bring her."

* * *

"So, em, who was- Who was Mira-nee talking about?" Lis inquired, curled up abnormally tensely into his side. She was so tense, the cats would not curl up on her, making him a one-man-cushion for five cats and a girl. "Bix?"

"She seemed to think I only have eyes for one woman." He admitted, fairly sure she already knew that bit but he was not sure of the answer himself. He _had_ been thinking about the fact that her older sister just could not compare… but it was not as if there was anything more than friendship between them. "Why?"

"No reason." She puffed, shifting to cuddle in more.

"Wait," he grinned, letting his tongue loll out, "are you jealous?!"

"No!" She squeaked, her face flushing crimson as she suddenly pulled away to sit at the opposite side of the couch. "I-I- I just- I just like how things are now… between me and you… If you got a girlfriend…"

"You wouldn't be able to just come over, huh?" He finished for her, feeling a strange weight in his chest. "I'd still want you here." He reassured, watching her as she deflated a little more.

"But she wouldn't." Lis murmured, only just loud enough for him to catch the words.

"Wanna know what I was thinking?" He mused, stretching an arm out along the back of the couch. He smirked, his tongue lolling, as she shifted back along the couch to be under his arm. "I wasn't thinking sexual thoughts, but I was thinking… your sister doesn't compare to you."

"What?" She gasped, suddenly staring wide eyed back at him, her hand over her mouth. "But- But-"

"But-nothing! You're way cooler, way sweeter, and a shit load cuter! I'd pick you over her any day!" He grinned, pulling her up against his chest with his previously outstretched arm. "Now, stop moping and watch the film!"

"Can I stay over?" She whispered, curling back into him.

Stay over? Like, on the couch? He could not do that to her… and she had a perfectly good bed upstairs… Maybe she just could not be assed heading upstairs? Or maybe she just wanted to stay curled up with the cats all night? It was possible… He should probably say no though, being a guy six years older than her. But they were friends. Ever had stayed before, so why would this be any different? It was just Lis, right?

"Sure?" He smiled softly down at her, kissing the top of her white hair.

* * *

He was going to regret this. Sure, a couple of hours ago, it had seemed harmless. Now, not so much. She was in his shower, with one of his t-shirts waiting on her for her to sleep in. She had been so excited, she had done her little butt-wriggle dance and curled in closer to him. She had _almost_ fallen asleep by the end of the film and now he wished that he had let her. All he could think about was the fact that she was naked in his flat. Completely naked. Soaking wet, dripping with water, and completely naked.

Fuck.

He ran through to the bedroom and grabbed his pillow and a blanket. He threw the pillow down and himself after it, before hauling the blanket over the top of him. He was going to pretend to be asleep. On the couch. She could have the bed and the cats for the night. Yip, he could sleep on the couch… that he could not stretch out on. This was going to be near the top of his list when it came to worst nights of his life. He could feel the pain in his crotch as his trousers proved too tight. He listened as the shower switched off and let out an audible groan. He cringed and closed his eyes, feigning sleep as the bathroom door finally opened.

"Bix?" She whispered as she crouched down in front of him, making it difficult to keep up his hoax. "Bix, are you really asleep?" Her voice murmured as her delicate fingers ghosted over his forehead. "If I'd realised you were going to sleep on the couch, I'd have just gone home." She admitted quietly.

He tried not to tense as he felt lips brush against his, hoping she did not notice his sudden inability to breathe. Fuck. Oh fuck. That was their first kiss and he could not act as if he knew anything about it… If he did at that moment, it would not be an innocent night between friends… If he did at some point in the future, she would instantly realise that he had been pretending to sleep to _avoid sleeping with her_. He was well and truly screwed.

He slipped his hand into his pants, needing to relieve some of the pressure. He froze as he felt the blanket shift. She had just lifted the blanket. Shit! Or maybe…? Maybe one of the cats had climbed under? No, he could not feel fur against his skin. Oh god… she was just staring at him with a hand down his pants. He was never going to live this down. Actually, he was Bickslow, it would be fucking _expected_ of him to fall asleep touching himself.

He groaned as she lay down on top of him, using his chest as a pillow. While, yes, her boobs pressing into him was a huge turn on – in fact, he could tell there was no damn bra on underneath that t-shirt of his that she was wearing – her pelvis on top of his hand wrapped around his dick was not. He whimpered and opened his eyes, desperate to deal with the strange angle his poor sexual organ was currently being forced into.

"Lis…" He groaned, unsure how much he could move. Her head bolted up to look back at him in obvious surprise. "You're crushing my dick."

She squeaked and leapt off of him, leaving him blanket-less with his hand clearly still down his pants. He could not even take it out, not when it had been… _leaked_ on. Fuck. She just kept staring at his crotch, her entire face a beautiful crimson. She bit her bottom lip, making him twitch. It would just be because she was nervous and uncomfortable, _not_ because she was getting turned on. He carefully stood up and moved towards her, his hand still trapped by what dignity he had.

"It's not what it looks like." He coughed, reaching out to her with his other hand before snatching it back. What the fuck did he think he was doing?! Trying to touch her while he was touching his own dick?! "Ok, I'm going to go to the bathroom and wash my hand. You, Lis, are going to wait here while I do that so that we can talk about this. Like grown-ups."

She nodded, failing to drag her sapphire eyes away from where his hand entered his tight, black briefs. Hell, she could probably see his hand with how tight a squeeze it was in there… which probably meant she could see the non-gripped part of his dick. Yeah, he had no fucking dignity left in this situation, who was he kidding?! No-one! He sighed and removed his hand, his dick keeping those stupid briefs tented. And his hand had far too much pre-cum on it. If she told on him, he was a dead man.

"Is that-"

"Yes, it is." He answered, not letting her finish. He could never see her again. Ever. He was going to have to move away, leave his friends behind, and find a new home.

"So is it true that you've indecently exposed yourself a couple of times in a public place?" She mused, suddenly not seeming remotely innocent as she repeated goddamn gossip.

"No." He growled, storming off to the bathroom. "I am considered a letch, but I ain't exposed myself anywhere more public than a hotel bedroom or a rented house in the middle of fucking nowhere." He explained bitterly, washing his hands far too aggressively given they were now already clean. "And certainly not in front of anyone who didn't want to see it or just didn't give a shit."

"Who fell under the second category?" She giggled, appearing next to him in the bathroom mirror. Shit, if she looked down… "Bix?"

"Laxus and Freed… and Ever saw it at the cottage, but all three of us were naked in the hot tub – Laxus, Freed, and me, not Ever!" He hastily finished, watching her gaze. Did she _want_ to see it? Was she curious? Had she ever seen one before? Of course she had, literally everyone had… Especially with _Gray Fullbuster_ running around town. "You ever indecently exposed yourself then?" He returned, turning to face her.

"All the girls are naked when we go to the hot springs." She blinked, clearly confused by the fact he had bothered to ask.

"Fuck, I really do need to work out how to peep in there!" He guffawed, letting his tongue loll out.

"There's my Bix." She hummed, smiling sweetly up at him as she wrapped her arms around him. He let out another groan as he felt her boobs press against him again, the only separation being his thin t-shirt. Fuck. "What?" She mused, watching him closely.

"You know exactly what." He murmured, locking his hands on the rim of the sink.

He would not touch.

"No, I don't." She laughed, bringing her hands back around to rest on his bare pecs. Now she was damn well pressing them together, enhancing her cleavage as they were smooshed against him.

"Your boobs." He hissed, shifting to try to stop his twitching member from touching her.

"My boo-" She blushed and pulled back, looking down. Oh god, he hoped she did not see what he thought she had just seen. "Sorry." She mumbled bashfully, looking anywhere but at him. She totally saw it. "I didn't mean to, you know…"

"Well, I guess it's alright with me as long as you liked what you saw." He grinned lecherously, hoping he covered his unease flawlessly. "And yours feel pretty amazing without a bra." He added, kissing the top of her head. "I'm off to bed, I'll keep my hands off."

She followed after him, fidgeting with his borrowed t-shirt the whole way.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Fairy Tail belongs to Hiro Mashima!**

**Ah-hah! I bet you hadn't realised you were gonna get an update so soon! Although, I was laughing a bit as I readied today's update of _Becoming Purav_... Apparently I unintentionally (I _could not_ have planned this if I tried, considering I didn't intentionally stop posting where I did just so that I could do this) decided I was having my own little Bixanna day. I might even do a random little drabble like the two two paragraph Gajevys I've posted on Tumblr lately just because of this weird fluke.**

**Anyway, I keep forgetting Bixanna is a crack ship, but if the two of them are in a story - just assume I'm shipping them. I'm always ecstatic when I find out mid-story that someone's thrown in some Bixanna, even if it's the tiniest, one sentence hint. Currently reading a 66 Chapter Fraxus fanfic, something major happens and all of a sudden there's a description of Lisanna with no name... and that Bixslow likes her. I fangirled.**

_(Also, how many have noticed that most of this takes place on the couch that started all of this? Funnily enough, not intentional, but I found that fact afterwards rather amusing. And, in my head, Lisanna would refer to it as a sofa.)_

**So, without further ado, to those fellow Bixanna shippers - as rare as we apparently are - please accept the second and final part of this fanfic!**

* * *

**Part Two**

"Where is she?"

"She's here, but I ain't telling you who she is." Bickslow replied, staring blindly into the crowd as Mira appeared by his side. His 'date' had come to the party in her sister's car, not his, for tonight. Not that he had a damn car… Laxus and Freed had picked him up on the way past to save him grabbing a bus. "So you can leave me be."

"I think it's obvious." Laxus shrugged from his other side. "He's completely smitten with her."

"Really?" Mira hummed, looking around the room.

He was going to kill his best friend.

"Yup." The muscular blonde nodded, not focusing on anyone in particular.

"So who is she then? If you're so sure, maybe you should check you have the right girl?" Mira challenged lightly, seemingly _not_ searching the room desperately to find his date.

"Because Bickslow would be pissed considering things have been going well up until this point, correct?" The blonde replied, his attention sharpening on Bickslow as he finished.

"Correct." He nodded, trying to keep his attention away from the gorgeous white haired girl with a shimmering sapphire skater dress that matched her eyes.

"She ok with us going away for a couple of weeks?" Laxus pressed, Bickslow feeling an unexpected weight to those words.

"Yup, she's absolutely fine with it… It's almost as if she's looking forward to it." He admitted quietly.

It was. Nothing sexual had happened since that night and, to be fair, nothing had really happened that night. It was kinda… disappointing. She was not trying to throw herself at his larger-than-average dick, or his muscles, or anything about him. In fact, all she ever did was snuggle into him. And give him the occasional peck on the cheek. She stayed over most nights now… She even had a small section of his underwear drawer. She only had underwear at his, but, for some reason, that seemed _kinkier_ than clothes… but nothing was happening. She had not kissed him once. He had not made a move beyond his usual behaviour towards her, but, given their _situation_, it seemed best that things moved at her pace… which was glacial and, to be honest, was starting to feel a little friend-zoned. They had already been friends but… Yeah, he wanted more, damn him.

"So she's looking forward to a chance to miss you then? Not having her Bixy-wixy on tap?" Mira cooed, teasing him as she smiled devilishly up at him.

"Please don't say that aga-"

"Mira-nee." Lisanna interrupted, a mild look of annoyance on her face. What was that about? "Please tell me you're not sexually harassing my neighbour? I don't want to have to move again."

"A-Again?" Bickslow stammered, looking between the two girls.

"Lisanna!" Mira cried out, tears coming to her sapphire eyes. "You didn't have to move out! He was such a sweetheart! He still is! I just want you to be happy! Come home!" She rambled, taking her sister into her arms. "I never meant to drive you away! How can you even afford to eat with rent and all your other bills?!"

"_That's _why you started eating at mine!" Bickslow exclaimed, ecstatic to finally have an answer. Until he froze. Three sets of blue eyes were staring straight at him. Well, shit. Oh fuck, so was the rest of the room. "I always thought it was weird that you appeared at my door at mealtimes since, you know, I was literally just your brother's fiancée's friend? Even if Ever had talked to you about me, it was still kinda weird…"

"Yeah, thanks… Now your girlfriend's going to hate me, right?" Lisanna laughed nervously, glancing at the women around the room as if unsure which of these party guests was the woman in question. Nice tactic!

"I hope not!" He guffawed, throwing his arm around her shoulders in what he hoped seemed like brotherly affection. As apposed to 'well done my amazing genius of a girlfriend'.

Mira glanced threateningly around the room and refused to leave her sister's side for the rest of the night.

* * *

"That. That was brilliant."

"After you outted us!"

"Yeah, well, we probably should confess soon anyway…" He sighed, kissing the top of her head as she curled up into his side a few days later. He had been leaving her plastic boxes of food to reheat on his windowsill while they waited for things to cool down a little. "Not that there's much to confess."

"I practically live here…?" She snorted, petting his short-haired black and white cat.

"Yeah, but it's not as if we're up to anything." He shrugged, wincing as he realised he had unintentionally shifted her slightly. She readjusted herself, only to find his grey cat now on her shoulder. Bickslow lifted him off onto his lap. "We literally just eat together, cuddle, and share a bed. It's like having Ever over when she's feeling sorry for herself."

He scratched behind his grey cat's ear, losing himself in the deep purring. He began to mimic the sound, finding his ginger cat now on his lap too. He took his arm from the back of the couch and began massaging the back of both cats' heads, down to their little butts. He felt another rub against his head, only to find his black cat staring expectantly. He just did not have enough hands. He gently rubbed heads with the little black cat.

A giggle greeted his ears.

He found the big, long-haired white one butting heads with his adorable girlfriend while she continued to stroke his black and white cat. This scene would look insane to anyone who walked in that door. He looked down at his little Lis, wondering why she had fallen silent. He took back his hand that had been along the back of the couch and began stroking Lis' hair, startling her. After a moment, she relaxed into it, her head coming up to meet his hand. She really was just like a cat. He gulped as he noticed her toes curl, heard a little noise of pleasure. Wow.

"Lis?"

"Hm?" She purred quietly, lost in the touch of his hand.

"Why'd you go quiet on me?" He murmured, shifting slightly to pull her on top of him. She just made herself comfortable and kept her eyes closed, enjoying the attention of his hand. "Lis?"

"Am…" She sighed, seemingly searching for the right words. "Am I really no different to an upset Evergreen to you?" She finally asked, a note of pain almost hidden in her sad tone.

"Of course not." He whispered, kissing the top of her head now that it lay comfortably just below his chin. "It's just that the physical side of our relationship, well, it's not that different, but I'd choose your company over a mopey Ever any day." He mused, lifting her head slightly to kiss her forehead.

She suddenly looked back at him with a determined expression. Oh no. She crept up his body slightly, stopping so that their faces were mere millimetres apart. He could feel her breath tickling his face. If he just moved ever so slightly- She was kissing him. Fuck. It was a little… inexperienced, but he could not deny the tingle he was getting. He cupped her cheek, beginning to guild her through the kiss as he sat up a little. She shifted to be slightly more upright on his abs, gaining confidence. She nipped his bottom lip and he smirked, knowing full well she was not ready for what she was asking. His tongue.

She nipped again, more demanding this time, and he chuckled. He nudged her nose with his, earning a cute giggle from her, before deepening the kiss. Mouths still closed. She did not need, nor was she ready, for that gigantic muscle in her mouth. That could wait for when things were a little less…tender. He wanted to kiss her, not devour her. He felt her hands slip under his t-shirt, attempting to pull it up towards his head. And failing. It was stretching alright, but it wasn't going anywhere – not with their combined weight holding it in place under him.

"Rip it." He hissed, surprised to find himself quite so breathy. He could feel himself getting excited, but being so breathless? From kissing? He could feel her hesitation and grabbed the edge of his t-shirt. He tore the hem, leaving it for her to decide if she would open the t-shirt up like a book, exposing all the interesting bits hidden between the covers. "If you want to, fucking go for it."

She kissed him harder to the sound of ripping material. He felt a cool air against his chest before a feminine figure replaced his t-shirt. He groaned as she rubbed up against him, letting her fingers roam over his torso in wanton need. He closed his eyes as she began to kiss along his jaw, only to tug on his earlobe with her teeth. Who the hell had she been watching? He slid his hand down, stroking himself through his trousers. He still would not touch her. But that was not going to stop him from enjoying himself.

She broke away for a moment, only to return to his torso with skin to skin contact. Gone was her Kitty-Queen t-shirt. Those gorgeous boobs were still held firm in a satin bra. He wanted to let them out, feel them against his skin, touch them, bite them, suck them! He let out another loud groan, enjoying the little sounds of ecstasy she made as she licked and kissed his neck. He slipped his hand under the tight denim of his jeans, taking it back out again in frustration as he began trying to unbutton them. He had never found it so difficult in his entire fucking life.

Small hands pushed his aside, easily unhooking the button and lowering the zipper. He snatched her hands away and he opened his eyes to see her pouting at him cutely, her pupils dilated with desire. He kissed her, releasing her hands. They went straight to his pecs, rubbing over his damn nipples as she kissed him almost desperately. He let his hand sink back into his tight briefs, stroking himself, harder, faster, as he kissed her, showing her just how passionate a simple kiss could be. He croaked out a strange noise as he climaxed, startling her. How far off was she? Possibly miles, but he would not touch her. She would have to deal with that herself.

"I-I-I-"

"What?" He murmured, stoking her hair with his clean hand that had moved between her jaw and the back of the couch.

"M-My butt…" She blushed, unable to look at him.

"What about it?" He grinned, letting his tongue loll, as he waited for her to give him permission to touch that sacred body part.

"It's all wet." She mumbled, her entire face flushing with mortification.

Wet?

"Shit." He grunted, realising _exactly_ where his dick must have been aimed. Well, fuck. He carefully slipped his deflated dick back where it belonged and sat up completely. Unintentionally making her sit on her sodden cotton shorts. On his crotch. "Bathroom?" He offered, feeling distinctly ashamed of himself. _That_ had never been a problem before, but he had never actually had a fully clothed session before, so why would it have been.

"Can you get me some underwear, please?" She requested uncomfortably as she walked backwards towards the bathroom.

"No problem." He smiled softly, gently kissing her lips. She blushed but looked happy to be kissed, so he turned to walk to the bedroom. "I'll be there in a minute."

"Ten." She suddenly said sharply.

"Ten?" He frowned as he turned to look back at her. Ah, shower. She needed to wash his cum off of her ass… or, at least, the stuff that had seeped through the material.

* * *

It had been twenty. Was he supposed to go in? Was he supposed to wait like a good little boy? He could still hear the water going, even if it did sound a little strange. If he went in there, there would be no unseeing what he saw. Not that he would want to. Unsee, that is. Oh, he wanted to see that sexy body of hers. He wanted to touch every inch of it with his hands… his tongue! To get inside her… No, he needed to stop or he would get himself worked up again.

"Lis-baby?" He called, unable to wait much longer.

After a moment of silence, beyond the sound of the water from the showerhead, he pressed his ear against the door. He could just hear it. The short, sharp breaths. The wanton moans. His name. Repeatedly. Over and fucking over between those moans and breaths. Fuck. Twenty minutes? How could she still be at it after twenty minutes?! He could not afford that water bill! He was not Laxus or Freed! He knocked on the door, loud. He heard her startled gasp followed by the most delicious moan yet. He knocked again, harder, getting a stronger reaction. He was ready to hump his fucking door!

"Lis-baby, get out the shower." He groaned, hearing her gasp in response to his voice. He had not _meant_ to groan like that, but he was getting damn painful listening to her. If she wanted to carry on like that, she could go home. In soiled shorts. Shorts that he himself had soiled. He was being a dick. "Please?"

The door opened, revealing his gorgeous girlfriend wrapped up in a giant navy bath towel. He frowned, noticing her hair and skin suspiciously dry. The shower was still going? What…? She winked at him, cheekily snatched the satin thong out of his hand, and sashayed over to the bedroom door. Which she promptly shut behind her. And locked. Fucking _locked_. What was he going to do?! It was not as if he had walked into the unlocked bathroom while she had been touching herself, so he was not going to storm into the bedr- Ah. The bathroom. It did not smell like fucking sex. She had been fucking messing with him!

"Lis!" He exclaimed, storming across to the bedroom door to thump the base of his fist against it! "That's not funny!"

"I totally got you!" She chimed on the other side, not bothering to hide her giggle.

"Were you trying to get me fucking hard?!" He snapped, banging on the door again.

Bickslow jumped as a fist banged unendingly on his flat door. Whoever the fuck that was, he was not answering it. That fucker sounded pissed. And not the good kind. That fucker sounded ready to smash his head in. He had not pissed off any boyfriends in almost a year, so it could hardly be to do with a jilted lover…? Maybe they had the wrong door? That was possible… Shit. What if they were on the wrong floor and wanted his little Lis? He growled and stormed up to the door.

He glared through the peephole.

And almost fainted.

Almost.

He dashed over to the bedroom door, hoping she would let him in as he text her the issue. He heard his bedroom window open and close, only for her to appear at the living room window. She gestured soundlessly for him to follow. Bickslow wedged his broad shoulders out of the window, before the rest quickly followed. Suddenly, he found himself wrapped in his girlfriend's soundless embrace. While the kiss felt amazing, this was not the moment. He began to pull back, before finding himself falling. Into his bedroom. She had been damn well distracting him!

"I know you're in there, Bickslow!" His friend's fiancé bellowed through his flat door. He was so dead when that beast got in here.

"What do you think you're doing?"

No? Could it?

"What has he done this time?! You'll disturb all the neighbours with that racket – I hadn't even realised it was you until you started shouting! Get upstairs now and write an apology letter! I've got to live here, Elf-nii!"

Thank fuck for his girlfriend…

"B-But! He was listening to you in the shower! I heard him tell you to get out of it!"

"Do I _look_ like I've been for a shower?! What if you've just terrified his poor girlfriend!? If she leaves him because you decided to act like a brute-"

"Sorry!"

* * *

"Neat trick. How'd you pull it off?"

"What trick?" He grunted, sitting cross-legged on his couch.

"Making his baby sister appear from upstairs." Ever smirked, continuing to file her nails. "I was standing next to him on the landing. He went to knock and then paused. Turns out, he thought he'd heard you say 'Lis', so he stopped to _listen_ and you said it again. The last straw was when _I_ heard – without trying, may I add – you saying 'were you trying to get me hard'. Elf's face! I had to try to keep mine completely straight. He'd never forgive me for finding it hilarious that his _baby_ _sister_ is giving a guy _older than him_ blue balls."

"She's not a kid, you know…" He grumbled, refusing to look at her. Not that she was even bothering to look at him. "And what were you guys doing anyway?"

"Coming to visit you, believe it or not." She mused, stretching her legs out so that her feet were on his lap. "I've been _trying_ to convince him that you're not such a bad guy. Especially since convincing him is going to be pretty important before you tell him about you and his sister." He sighed and began rubbing her feet. How did everyone know?! "Freed's annoyed about the whole situation, since it seriously complicates things, but I don't mind. Laxus is happy for you, as long as you keep Lisanna happy, which – judging by how she was at our engagement party – you are."

"How'd you guys figure it out?" He grumbled, making sure to give her a thorough foot massage. He needed to keep her sweet. Especially if she decided it could be entertaining to watch her would-be husband beat him to death with those muscles of his.

"She was the only girl in the room you _wouldn't_ look at, idiot." She deadpanned, rolling her eyes. "If Mira wasn't so convinced of her sister's innocence, she would have flambéed you right there."

"For what?!" He snapped, growling profanities under his breath. This whole situation was unfair. He was pretty sure that she had been the one to come onto him. It had been her…right? Or maybe he had been unintentionally giving off signals?

"Bix. Bix!" Ever called, slapping him over the head with her fan to regain his attention. He resumed rubbing her delicate feet. "For deflowering her baby sister, of course. What else?"

"But I haven't touched her! And she hasn't touch me! Ok, wait, we did start kissing for the first time that day when you guys turned up and started trying to bang my door down." He explained awkwardly, shifting slightly.

"Oh my." Evergreen cooed, fanning herself. "Bickslow getting flustered! Bickslow's in _love_~!"

"Shut up." He grumbled, turning his head to look out the window.

Just as a set of feet touched down on his windowsill.

"_That's _how you do it!" Evergreen exclaimed, suddenly pointing at the window with her closed fan. "The window?! You make your girlfriend come and go through the _window_?!" She laughed, wiping tears from her eyes carefully as she tried not to ruin her makeup.

"I do have a key." Lisanna coughed as she realised she had an audience. "Sorry, hadn't realised you were here."

"I didn't tell her – she worked it out!" Bickslow rushed desperately, hoping his cute girlfriend would not break up with him over it.

"I know." Lis replied, tilting her head to one side slightly. "At the engagement party, she told me I had to-"

A folding fan smacked dead centre between her eyes, cutting her off.

"I'm heading home." Ever puffed, standing up and collecting her fan. She whispered something menacing into his girlfriend's ear before hurrying out the door.

"What the hell was that about?" Bickslow frowned, looking between the now closed door and his girlfriend.

"If I tell you, she'll tell Elf-nii about us." Lisanna laughed nervously.

"Right…"

* * *

"Are we telling them or what?"

"What."

"Are we telling them or not telling them?"

"Like I said, _what_, as in _not_."

"It's getting a little old, Lis." Bickslow sighed as he waltzed his secret girlfriend around the ballroom floor of her brother's reception. "The only reason we're allowed to dance like this right now is because Laxus _refused_ to dance, so Freed is dancing with Mira instead of dancing with you. Cue my intro."

"I know…" She mumbled, tightening her grip on his shoulder. She was not being fair, but she just did not want to ruin her brother's wedding and he knew that. He really did. But now his friends were starting to give them dirty looks, as if they were doing something _wrong_. "What about when they come back from honeymoon?"

"We've been putting this off since Ever pulled me up on it, threatening to tell your _Elf-nii_ about us." He hissed, fighting to keep a smile on his face.

He should be ecstatic to be dancing so openly with his girlfriend. Except everyone only thought they were dancing together because they were _obligated_ to. Which, he guessed, they were, thanks to Laxus. He could not thank his friend enough for this opportunity, but it just felt wrong now. Months of hiding their relationship had started to make him feel… bitter. Was he ever going to be good enough to bring home? He had not looked at another woman in almost eighteen months, but he had not been welcome to her birthday celebration, or her family Christmas. They may still have each other, but he was still the damn outcast, just like he had been eighteen months ago.

"I'm going to kiss you." He murmured, keeping his voice low and seductive, only for her to suddenly look back at him in horror. Horror. The idea of him kissing her was _horrific_? This was fucked up. "Fine."

"Thank you." She gulped, looking away from him again.

"It's over."

He broke away from her and made his way to the edge of the dancefloor, suddenly in desperate need of a drink. He heard the titters as he tried to ignore his dance partner abandoned in the middle of the dancefloor, looking ready to cry. He would not turn back. He would not go comfort her. She was twenty-two years old and insisted on hiding their relationship like teenagers after almost a year and a half! Like she was ashamed of him! He angrily swiped at his right eye, cursing it for starting to water as he grabbed a flute of champagne off of the buffet table. He heard the nods of approval and turned his head to look back at the dancefloor.

Laxus.

He really owed him now.

His best friend was now swinging his now _ex-_girlfriend around the room enthusiastically, making her laugh away her tears. It should have been him doing that. Had he still been his old self, they would have been just like that in the first place. Where had he gone? Where was his spirit? His enthusiasm? Had he really lost it? All because his girlfriend had been too ashamed to tell her family about him? Was he still in there somewhere? Or was his spirit broken alongside his heart?

"Bickslow."

Bickslow froze under the sound of that voice. That very _deep_ voice. He was not sure if he could turn around. Could he face that giant hunk of muscle? Shit. He did not have a choice, not when it was the big guy's wedding day. He downed his drink and hoped he did not look as if he had been crying. He turned around. And was immediately crushed. The giant wall of muscle was squeezing the life out of him. This was it. The big lug had found out and now he was going to be crushed to death.

"Ever told me that you needed a hug because you're hurting." Elfman sobbed into his ear. "It's MANLY to let your feelings show!"

This was a _hug_? This giant was _hugging_ him? Because he was…hurting? Did he know that Bickslow had just broken up with his little sister? No, that was unlikely, but he had just walked away from her on the dancefloor. He should go apologise. Once he found his way out of this… hug. He patted Elfman on the back soothingly before his own tears finally began to fall. Freely. He _had_ been hurting. He had never kept anything a secret from his friends before. Even once they knew, it had been taboo to talk about it in case one of her siblings had overheard. He had been her dirty little secret… and, eventually, that had started to… _hurt_.

"Elf-nii…" His ex-girlfriend's voice called out softly. "Please can you let go of Bix…?"

"Bix?" Elfman sniffed, looking down at his sister in confusion.

"Yes… I kind of need to talk him out of breaking up with me…" She explained, pain shining in those beautiful sapphires. "Although, I'd definitely deserve it if he walked away now… Since I swore him to secrecy five-hundred-and-thirty-six days ago. He probably feels like I'm ashamed to call him my boyfriend – I'm not. Between wanting to keep him to myself and being terrified of what you or Mira-nee would do to him if you thought he'd taken advantage of me… When in truth, it's been me who's taken advantage of his kindness, his heart, his spirit, and his love. I love him very much, Elf-nii, but I've hurt him by trying so hard to protect him… That day you caught us… and I appeared from upstairs… That was the first time we'd actually gone so far as to make out… This whole relationship has been at _my pace_, not his, and I have tormented him – he's put up with me, and my overbearing family, like a saint." She explained through rivers of tears as Elfman held Bickslow tight against him. "I truly love him, Elf-nii." She sniffed, wiping her eyes with the backs of her hands as she held her brother's gaze.

A single clap resounded through the room. A patter, then full applaud. A comforting arm wrapped around her. She turned into it without breaking her brother's unblinking stare. She froze as she realised it was Evergreen and not Mira who held her. Her sister-in-law kissed the top of her head and rubbed her arm encouragingly. Freed appeared by her side, offering her his tissue. Bickslow could not believe what he was seeing. His family, standing around her, to the sound of the whole room's applause for her sudden speech, her declaration of love _for him_.

"I love you too." He managed to gasp out, her brother's arms still trapping him unbearably tightly against that muscular torso.

"Elfman." Mira's voice cooed from somewhere behind them. "Elfman, let him go."

"Please, Elf-nii?" Lisanna gulped, Ever holding her tighter in comfort.

"Elfman…?" Mira continued to press, laying a hand gently on her brother's arm.

Was he seriously gonna die here because this big oaf had gone into shock?!

"ELFMAN!" His bride snapped, hitting him square between the eyes with her white stiletto.

He released Bickslow and fell backwards into the waiting chair.

"Thought you actually were gonna kill me there!" Bickslow guffawed, trying to catch his breath as he looked down at the giant.

"So did I." Mira admitted, Evergreen nodding her agreement as she appeared by his side. "We maybe should have told him sooner that his little sister isn't a child anymore."

"You knew?"

Bickslow flinched, unsure how _this_ was going to end.

"I had my suspicions, but I decided that you were old enough to make your own choices and that you would come to me when you were ready." Mira smiled motherly, taking her sister's face in her hands to make her look up into her eyes. "As long as you're happy, that's all that matters." She affirmed, kissing Lisanna's forehead. "And anyway, your Elf-nii just married an older woman, so he can hardly say anything about your choice!"

"Ok, enough." Bickslow cackled, watching as the bride tried to descend all her fury on her head bridesmaid. "Can I just fucking kiss my cute as fuck, amazing girlfriend already? I've been wanted to since I saw her in that fucking dress coming down the aisle!"

"Bix!"

"Lis." He snatched her up into his arms, wrenching her up off of her feet, and making her laugh. It truly was a musical sound. He planted a firm, passionate kiss on her delicious lips. "I fucking love you."


End file.
